An Anniversary Message

Yesterday was our 41st wedding anniversary.  I woke up feeling excited and happy but also a bit let down as it was one of those days where there are so many things going on and I knew we would not be able to take the time to actually celebrate the occasion.
 Sometimes we are just overbooked; going in too many directions at once and not sure where to go first!  Then to top it off, there are the phone conversations and email messages from family and friends that add another level of things that are already on ones mind.  Sounds exhausting, doesn't it?

After a long day I was really feeling sorry for myself when I got a phone message from my sister to call her back.  Well, it was even hard to find time to do that without the distractions of events happening around me; but I finally just bit the bullet and called her back hoping for the best, that I wouldn't get disrupted too many times during the conversation.

It turns out that the phone call was one of those "God Moments" as Pastor calls it:)  Here it was our anniversary and my sister was calling concerning her life as a wife in the last weeks of watching her husband slowly leave his time here on earth.  We talked about our children growing up and having lives of their own, rightly so; leaving a person alone with their spouse.
So what happens after that spouse is no longer here?  It must be a lonely life even though you have your children, they can't spend every waking moment with you, nor should they.

It was then that I felt the spirit nudging me to embrace what I could of this time I have with the man I was blessed to be with.  It isn't anything I don't already know, but it is something that I occasionally take for granted in our busy, hectic life.

The God given universe offers us a life full of opportunities and adventures.  We are the only ones who can take advantage of that by being patient and listening to the whispers in our ears, the nudging at our backs and the goosebumps that go up our spine.  These are all messages to us of how we can live the kind of life meant for us.
 If we choose to ignore these signs, we tend to go down the wrong road and make choices that are not in our best interest and hurtful not only to ourselves but to others.

I don't know when I became in-tune to those "signs" or even when I started to recognize them as such.  But I do know that they are with me all the time and when I trust in them they have never done me wrong.
This is one of those times when I was being nudged to take time and give thanks for the experience I have had with the man I was meant to share my life with.
I am thankful and grateful that somewhere along the line I learned to listen, be patient and trusting as it led to being blessed with a wonderful friend and soul mate.
Maybe this anniversary wasn't so bad after all:)

Sweet Words

Today I heard my 14 year old grandson tell his little 3 year old brother, " Alec do you know how lucky we are to have Grandma take care of us every day? Otherwise we would be in a day care center!"

It's amazing how things come to light when you get older and can learn to look at things in an appreciative way and one that isn't just taken for granted.
This summer that same grandson asks me often if I'm having a good day, and has even asked me if I like having them here every day?
I reassure him that they are wonderful company and I would be lonely without them!   I tell them that they make me laugh and keep me busy:)
I think it is as important to let them know how they make a difference in my life as much as hearing how much they appreciate me, (and my cookies:)
We all need to hear sweet words like that, don't you think?

Defining Ones Self

It has come to my attention that sometimes a person has to " suck (I hate that word) it up" and just keep your mouth shut. As I stumbled into what I thought was an innocent conversation, I came away feeling put down, viewed as ignorant and for the first time in my life- I felt like I didn't measure up:(

How does this happen? I have NEVER felt this way before, but today it dissolved me to tears...the kind where I had to finally say to myself, "STOP IT! YOU ARE A BETTER PERSON THAN THAT!"

I had to take a look at this conversation and tell myself, " Practice what you preach...do what you have always told your kids." That advice being--Don't EVER let other people's words define who you are or make you feel less then who you are; you are a good person and don't ever let words make you feel any different.
I know who I am, where I come from, where I've been, where I am and where I am going. What more do I need? I know that time and example say more than a million words so I will live my life the way it is meant to be lived. I will not let words define who I know myself to be.
Today is another good day:)

A Valentine Gift

Last Thursday was Valentine's Day. To us it will now be something even more, if that is possible.  Tyne and Justin got married on that very special day so it will be an anniversary that will be hard to forget!
 As I stood watching them hold hands in the cold of that outdoor ceremony I couldn't help but to lapse back in time to when she was our little girl, our little valentine:) Her name lent us to use it interchangeably during Valentine's Day as we would write on her cards "Valentyne." I used it often over the years even while she was in college as she was still our Valentyne!

Who would have thought that the little play on words with her name would become a subtle little prophecy of our Tyne getting married on Valen"tyne's" Day 28 years later! Life if fun that way; but I believe it to be instead a little God moment.
  I don't believe it was a coincidence that they won a contest to be married on that day, nor a coincidence that Justin got a job around the same time, or a coincidence that this minister quoted scripture during the ceremony and turned out to be a Methodist minister, when we were told it was to be a non-religious ceremony!
 No, I don't believe much in coincidence anyhow, and you don't have to be hit on the head with a falling piano to see that there was a much bigger power working this Valentine's Day.  "When you say it was a coincidence or luck, you deny God the right to give it meaning!"
I believe that he was sending a message that if you believe in him and trust in him he will take care of you and let you know that he is there.  What a wonderful way to start a marriage!

So while we are happy and excited and feel blessed that she is now in union with Justin, nothing can ever take a way the fact that she won our hearts first and will always be our little "Valentyne."

The Beauty of His World

It never stops amazing me how beautiful the world is around us!  Each morning as I drive my grand-kids to school I am so aware of the scenery as we drive down snow covered country roads into town.  This morning the golden sun was peering through the dark trees making each branch stand out like someone had painted each limb with a black marker . The snow on the rolling hills literally glistened as if someone had sprinkled silver glitter all over them.  Each branch on the mighty oaks were covered with a fine covering of sparkling frost making each twig or gnarl stand out against the light blue sky whisped with a faint covering of clouds.  Across the horizon I could see three black birds sitting on the very top branches of a large tree silhouetted against the morning sky.
 With each observation I was so moved to say "Thank you Lord, for these miracles of life and for the beauty of the earth you have so entrusted to us." It was then when I turned the corner off the main road that my eyes were drawn upward to see a very faint image of what looked like a rainbow!  It wasn't very big and only blended three colors as it was tucked behind a cloud. I stared in total amazement and it was then that I was overcome with emotion as I knew that God was sending me a message of promise that all my concerns and prayers were being heard. The song In His Time whispered in my head as my heart softened and my eyes filled with tears..."He makes all thing beautiful in His time. Lord, please show me every day, as You're teaching me Your way, that You do just what You say, in Your time... Lord my life to You I bring, may each song I have to sing, be to You a lovely thing, in Your time."
His message was clear and for this I am grateful. May all of you take time to see the beauty of his world. Have a wonderful day:)

Our Parents, Ourselves.

I am sure you have heard kids telling their parents, "I am an adult now, I don't need you/your advice/help/suggestions etc..." And whereas we are all probably guilty of doing or thinking that at some point in our lives it has really been on my mind lately. I have come to the conclusion that in all honesty, we NEVER stop needing our parents.

Here I am 59 years old and more then ever I find myself needing my mom and dad or wanting them close to me. Maybe it comes from the trials and errors we find our children and grandchildren going through as we struggle to find the right words or actions in response to their situations. It would be so nice to have parents to turn to for advice.

Though my parents have been gone for many years, it has not lessened my missing them. I still have moments when I regress and feel like a lost child. But there is something that they have inadvertently instilled in me and will never go away; you see, they are still with me.

 Every time I look at myself in the mirror I see my Dad's blue eyes looking back at me, feel his creative genes interacting in my constantly churning mind, his musicality being sung out of my lips and danced out of my feet, his athleticism in my love of sports and competitiveness. His quick wit and laughter that often just slips off my tongue!
 My mom's knack for teaching seems to ooze out of me so effortlessly that even I wonder sometimes, if that came out of MY mouth? Her appreciation for the beauty of flowers, the sunset and the little things that often go unnoticed are  being seen out of my eyes as I stand amazed at the small miracles in life that God has given us. Her positive outlook, values, morals, and knowing right from wrong which I consciously strive to keep in the forefront of my actions. The greatest gift of all is from both of them- their love of children which I automatically embrace every time I see a child.

How is it that children think they can escape or leave their parents? The very blood that runs through their veins is that of their parents. No wonder there is such a connection even after death. When parents say they understand their child better then you think, it is true; it can't be helped.

I for one, am grateful that this is true as it gives me comfort on the days when I feel like a lonely child.  It is then that I am able to just take a good look at myself to find them. They are still here, in me and always with me. For that I am eternally grateful.

A Word From The Wise

I was on my way home from babysitting my grand kids and had a good 2 hour ride to just sit and listen to the radio, sing, think, pray, think some more, pray some more-all of that thinking gets you  worrying sometimes so you need to pray after that! It was then that I was moved to stop in to see my parents and grandparents; something was urging me to visit them.

It was a beautiful late afternoon spring day, with a nice breeze blowing through the trees with the sun  peaking between the branches when I walked over to my parents headstones. I stopped first and said hello to my Grandpa and Grandma and tears immediately welled up in my eyes as I tried to clean off some moss on their engraved names. I talked out loud to them as if they were sitting there; it just seemed like the right thing to do. I told them how much I missed them, and how shocked they would be to know all the things going on in the world now! I re-read the dates of birth; they were only one year apart, and their dates of death; 18 years apart.
Right behind their headstone are my parents, with a grey concrete bench near by to sit on. I suddenly felt very weary as I plopped down. It was as though I had a need to unburden all those thoughts I was having. It was like being a child again hoping that they could make all my concerns better.  I actually asked them if they had any "pull" up there to try get some of my prayers answered! Of course I had to smile when I said that, but you know God has a great sense of humor too or he wouldn't love me like I know he does:)
After a while I went behind their headstones to my Great Grandparents and thanked them for their part in my life here on earth. I wondered out loud how they managed to make it through years of trials and stress; knowing well that it was a strong faith in God that carried them through.

The last one I visited was my brother, and it just was so hard to actually grip that he really wasn't here on earth anymore; somehow it still doesn't seem real. So with that, I told them all goodbye and promised I would stop again when I could. My drive home was quiet and once again I was left to my thoughts and prayers.
It was during that time that the word "wisdom" popped into my head and I knew immediately where that thought came from and what it meant. The older we get the wiser we become; we have experienced so many things, either ourselves or by knowing others. The worry and stress we feel for our children comes from knowing what will happen when they make certain decisions in their lives. They often think it is a control issue on our part, but it isn't--it is the" knowing" that causes worry and hurts so much.
Having the need to stop at the cemetery was no coincident; I was being led to those who had lived before me and had gained so much experience and knowledge during their lifetime. They may no longer be able to verbally tell me the things I have yet to learn, but if I look back at my memories and stories of their lives, I find a wealth of information and guidance through their examples (good and bad) of how to be and how to live a good life.
Hopefully we can learn these lessons so we can be good examples to the generations yet to come.