Our Parents, Ourselves.

I am sure you have heard kids telling their parents, "I am an adult now, I don't need you/your advice/help/suggestions etc..." And whereas we are all probably guilty of doing or thinking that at some point in our lives it has really been on my mind lately. I have come to the conclusion that in all honesty, we NEVER stop needing our parents.

Here I am 59 years old and more then ever I find myself needing my mom and dad or wanting them close to me. Maybe it comes from the trials and errors we find our children and grandchildren going through as we struggle to find the right words or actions in response to their situations. It would be so nice to have parents to turn to for advice.

Though my parents have been gone for many years, it has not lessened my missing them. I still have moments when I regress and feel like a lost child. But there is something that they have inadvertently instilled in me and will never go away; you see, they are still with me.

 Every time I look at myself in the mirror I see my Dad's blue eyes looking back at me, feel his creative genes interacting in my constantly churning mind, his musicality being sung out of my lips and danced out of my feet, his athleticism in my love of sports and competitiveness. His quick wit and laughter that often just slips off my tongue!
 My mom's knack for teaching seems to ooze out of me so effortlessly that even I wonder sometimes, if that came out of MY mouth? Her appreciation for the beauty of flowers, the sunset and the little things that often go unnoticed are  being seen out of my eyes as I stand amazed at the small miracles in life that God has given us. Her positive outlook, values, morals, and knowing right from wrong which I consciously strive to keep in the forefront of my actions. The greatest gift of all is from both of them- their love of children which I automatically embrace every time I see a child.

How is it that children think they can escape or leave their parents? The very blood that runs through their veins is that of their parents. No wonder there is such a connection even after death. When parents say they understand their child better then you think, it is true; it can't be helped.

I for one, am grateful that this is true as it gives me comfort on the days when I feel like a lonely child.  It is then that I am able to just take a good look at myself to find them. They are still here, in me and always with me. For that I am eternally grateful.